Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
