I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
