their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
