So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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