in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Randomize
