please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
