Do you still have your period?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
