the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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