he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
