my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
