Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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