Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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