you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
