Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
