The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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