I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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