I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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