its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
