so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
