the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
