Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
