He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
