Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Never underestimate the power of titties
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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