Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
