Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
