eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
