Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
