oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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