I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
