Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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