ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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