Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
