we have pet lesbian snakes
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Damn victory sex feels great
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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