Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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