did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
