508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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