I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
