I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
