is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
