Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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