drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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