and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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