His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
So squirting runs in the family.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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