My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
