You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Randomize
