you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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