it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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