I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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