is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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