I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
